Am I Homesick?

When you go abroad, you’re going to miss out on things back at home. It’s inevitable. My sister calls and I see how much her kids are growing. And I’ve only been gone a few months. The smallest one has even started walking since then. They really do grow up so fast, don’t they?

I was asked if I was homesick recently, and all I could really think was that I missed my cat. I got her when I was 12 years old. With her being a black and white cat, and me being 12, I named her Oreo. In those days, she was tiny and slept on my chest. I pet her while she ate, and she eventually grew into a monster. Not in personality, but in size; she always had a gentle, lazy personality. She liked to just hang out in the same room and enjoy your company, and she loved to be pet. She followed me around the house and would march over to me and plop down on the floor, sprawling out, which was her was of saying, “touch me.” Coming home from school, university or work, meant she would always greet you at the door, and start purring as loud as any cat could possibly purr when you rubbed her head. Sometimes I wondered what she did all day. She lived in her world, and I in mine, but the moments those worlds intersected were moments I truly cherished.

She stopped eating recently. It was discovered since I’ve been away that she was in the final stage of kidney disease. I knew my mom would take good care of her in her final days, but what’s most heartbreaking is that I don’t get to spend any more time with her. I’m no stranger to losing those that I care about, but damn does it hurt every single time. Since I left, she laid in my room, day after day, awaiting my return. After all, we grew up together. I raised her from a tiny kitten into a gentle giant. For 16 years, she was a best friend to me. She was a family member. And after 16 years of friendship, over video call, I had to say goodbye to her. It’s absolutely heart-wrenching that I couldn’t be there in person for her. After her struggle for the past month, she passed away this morning. In this world goodbyes may be inevitable, but I’ll always remember the time we shared. I love you, kitty.